hey, just thought writing now would be a perfect time.

idk what i want to say actually, its been a while since i left. i even dont talk much nowadays. i mean i do talk like usually but i just dont get any ideas what to talk about. i used to talk non-sense.

i thought i have changed. yeah, i really did. im not like before. im trying to be cold as much as i can. i get rude with people sometimes which i have never done that before. its pretty cool to be rude sometimes, i mean to people who deserves it. its like they are asking for it and we gave to ‘em. i hate people who thinks they can do whatever they want because we are not fighting. and now, im glad that i left them. but not in real life yet, sighed.

but hey, now im busy with my work life. im glad that im busy as much as that, actually. so that i can forget all those toxic people and live my life and when im on off-day, i will spend time with my mom & dad. great! such an amazing life, cant wait to adventures more. here we go 2020, long waaaaaay to go. RIDE!

Twenty-three.

Hi. I feel good to write again and it just feel like i found what I have lost before. I stop writing because I want to. I just dont get the right time to start. Throughout this year; 2019, its amazing! I dont know how to wrap this 2019, but all i can say is I am grateful.

To 2020, I hope more good vibes upcoming soon into my life. I cant wait!

well hello people.

how you were doing? im good, thank you. 

bye. ahaks

I’m back, again! It’s been a long time i don’t write or post up any update about myself – life, specifically. 

I’m fine and well, I make myself busy with sort of complicated things; studying. I’ve got 1 year and a half left then i will finish my Diploma. On this 3rd sem, i just can simply say the subjects are hard though. Studying in IT field, it would probably the best ever course but it is complicated, in my opinion. I have this obsession on to get the knowledge more details from what the lectures taught to us. I want to think out of the box but it still having the concepts of the thing that related to it. I just want to be good at it. Others may think that i am good enough in studies but instead of that i’m just a piece of failure. I admit that. It took me a while to understand the logic of the subject. But no one cares. They having full of thought about how good yourself at subjects. 

True. People just want to SEE how you ended it, not KNOW how will you end it? Blasted.

But, have a nice weekend anyway guys!

thinking other people way too much, than myself
thought that people happy to be with me, but its not

looking through other people everyday, than myself
thought that they were my mirror, but its not

i’ve come up so much for other people, than myself
one day i asked myself, should i or should not
then two people come across my messed up mind:

mmm—i got say,
you treat them like you owe them something, why
you make them happy and they fake their smile, whom
you know certain people not into you but you got them, which
you love them no matter what cause you dont even care, how

mmm—i gotta say too,
you know yourself dont you?
is it yes or is it no?
should i stay or should i go?

im looking my way back, always.

deepest in my weakest heart
i’m pretty sure you’re the one
baby you make me flood
with all of your love
but you don’t allow to anyone
without your willingness

i make my own conclusions baby
in my head full of images of yours
i’m drunk about you the whole day
drink up about yours
alone in the locked room

people, they have been before
but i ignored the others
just i keep them still

with all the realization
you’re not as what i thought
you’re not as what i said
baby, you cheat on me
you into someone
and not me

look up the stars baby
and i see it alone
separate from the moon
who its was you
who many others adore you